I was in Walmart at the checkout the other day and a young lady ahead of me said; "I'm going to be a while so feel free to go to a different checkout". I of coarse said; "I'ts okay I'll wait". It turns out the young lady had 6 or more coupons to redeem and there was a discrepency in what she was purchasing and dates on the coupons. The manager was called 3 times to try to make the lady see that she could not redeem all 6-8 coupons at this time. The lady stood her ground and never once apologized for holding people up. After about a half hour of this, (With an elderly couple behind me complaining all the while) the manager agreed to honor the lady's coupons by separating her purchases as though there were 2 seperate purchases. The young lady left (Happy) and I paid for my purchase and didn't comment on the transaction to anyone. (I was quite proud of my detached state).
I got in my car and began to go over this incident in my head. I know for a fact I would have apologized over and over again, and I would have backed down from the manager after the first attempt. I admired this young lady and her ability to take care of herself. It became clear to me what it would be like not to have a poisonous judge ruliing my head. Clearly this young lady was NOT burdened by an egoic sense of self that would have talked her into feeling guilty and wanting to please others. I no sooner got home and clicked on the TV and there was an ad which popped up on the screne called "Coupon Suzie", these were the identical coupons this young lady redeemed.
I call this a "sign post", a message that I needed to receive. Where on earth did I get the idea that it was "polite" to not take care of myself, not be true to myself and not take care of myself?
I have a pretty good idea where this came from but rather than blame my parents or my lot in life, I choose to see this a different way. Perhaps I have not been aware in the most subtle ways that to be impeccable of my word means in the most minute details in life.
If I can learn to be my own best friend,and speak my truth where it is needed, I'm pretty sure like this young lady at the checkout, I could tap into that place within and sing like no-body's listening.
I want what this young gal has, it is within already, I just have to quit listening to the critic in my head that is full of no-goods about who I am. I think it is time to walk the walk of peaceful abiding and not worrying about what others think.
Now that I know better, I can do better.
All is well
Cindy
